“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” Walter Anderson

March 2020 a new couple walked down the block of our neighborhood first thing in the morning to stay at an Air BnB for two weeks, at least that’s what the neighbors whispered after the curtains wafted back in place.  They rolled their little travel bag down the sidewalk while we heard that incessant clicking each time it touched the concrete seams.  The optic seemed to correspond with the gossip.  Here today, gone tomorrow, like every other tourist.  The next day they parked their rental car on the block. 

Two days later, they brought the camper.  It took up 3 parking spaces - and they put the money in the meter.  I knew something was really wrong when they paid a little oom-pah loompa to stick the quarters in the meter every 2 hours when it expired.   Out came out of the camper in-laws and outlaws.  They all had larger than life personalities that filled you up and drained you in the same day.  They were the life of the party and the death of it simultaneously.  They were the confetti and the wall flowers.  The celebration and the hangover.  The fresh paint and the musty mold.

It’s been more than two weeks now, actually it’s pushing two years, and they don’t walk down the street anymore.  They hang out in alleyways, bushes, behind garbage cans.   I found one of them in my closet and almost screamed like a kindergarten girl seeing a mouse run down the subway station stairs with a pizza.   I called my out-of-state friends, city friends, my across the pond friends, and found out that the same family moved into their neighborhood.  One of my friends, let’s call him Bill, told us on a zoom call that he approached them, confronted and demanded what were they doing in his neighborhood and what their names were in that order.   “You didn’t!” We all gasped at the same time at such precociousness and bravado.

 “I did.”  he answered with a sneer of contempt.

“What did they say?” someone asked.

“Fear, Stress, Anxiety, Worry, Angst, Terror.”

“And then what?”

“They gave their last names.”

“And what were they?” 

He paused…and then went around the zoom room slowly pronouncing our names Tight Ty, Angsty Agnes, Bothered Bec, Fearful Fred, Gee Whiz Liz, Nervous Nic, Jitter Jill, Trembling Terri, Willy Nilly Bill, Worry Wort Worrell, Depress Deb, Stress Stephen, and Dismiss Chris. * He called out all our names. 

The hair on our forearms raised up as one fro, like porcupine spines in a Prussian goose-stepping army.

We gasped again, and then our Zoom call froze with all our faces contorted in the weirdest positions.  Eyes stretched and bugged out, mouths were where ears should be, noses dripped into cheeks, ears elongated and skin dripped, slowly melting like a leprous Salvador Dali painting.  The cursor spun in a circle and slowly the Wi-Fi kicked in and we slowly became normal again, except for Willy Nilly Bill.  His screen was black, and then it flickered on, and he was curled up in a ball on the floor.  He whispered:  “They never answered the first question.”

Before the pandemic mental health was a concern for our families.  According to the website Mental Health America, prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, 19.86% of adults experienced a mental illness, which is equivalent to nearly 50 million people.  When we move to the youth population, 2.5 million youth in the United States have severe depression.**  Now if we add to the statistics the algebra of Pandemic + Quarantine + Isolation + Uncertainty + War + Racial Tension x Childhood x Puberty + Meh (languishing).  It all equals to…we need to start a conversation.

“What can we do to help our children?”  One little step is found in a quote by Mr. Fred McFeely Rogers, a writer who lived in the neighborhood:  “When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”

If you are a parent, counselor, virtual, or in-person teacher I’ve enclosed a list of a few questions as a starting point that you can use to help get your children and students talking.  If you have any more questions to add to the list, please feel free to add them in the comment section below.

·      What kind of day do you want today?

·      What kind of class do you want today?  Mellow?  Intense?  Humorous?

·      What was the best part of your day?

·      What’s the funniest thing you saw or heard today/this week?

·      What was the rose today?  What was the thorn?

·      What is something you never thought you could tell me but maybe want to tell me now?

·      Is there anything you have always wanted to ask me but didn’t? Do you want to ask me now?

·      What’s your biggest worry?

·      What surprised you the most?

·      What are you grateful for?

TEST

Why don’t you take a mental health test?

https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/

GIFT

Please accept a gift for your students and children.

During Mental Health Awareness Month, May 2022 I am gifting my children’s story app “Talk About The Monster” (for ages 5-11 and beyond) at the Apple App Store to our children and families.  Please find below a link for your free download of the app.  Please share this blog and opportunity with your friends and community. 

Download Talk About The Monster The Mobile App 

“When you talk about the monster, you bring him down to size.”  Mistofer Christopher

*Names have been changed to keep friendships.

**https://mhanational.org/issues/state-mental-health-america