•  Looney Pruney

“You are so beautiful you big, black, burgundy Gulliver of a Raisin.” Mistofer Christopher, Ode to the Prune

New Yolk City, the city that doesn’t sleep, and every soul is all about time.  We as a people will help you if you’re lost; we may even walk a few blocks with you to get you on your route.  We are polite but just please step out the way.  We are all about time, we’re rushed; however most things are not on time.  After riding a Japanese subway or a German UBahn, one understands the beauty of public transportation.  I remember an NPR report in which the Japanese tour operator apologized for leaving 20 seconds early.  Whuuuuuuuutttt?  So since we, the New Yorker, are rushed, punctually late, we appreciate such words as timeliness, consistency, and regularity.  That’s why every morning I open up the white vault and I pull out a Looney Pruney bag and enjoy this secret delight.  I don’t speak about these things openly as it brings silent giggles, private smirks, and concerns about regularity.  It’s just me and the prunes.  Within the hour there are no traffic jams, rubber necking, or a crackling voice on the PA system saying “sorry for the delay.”  Just make sure to stand clear of the closing doors.

• Kite Hill Cream Cheese

 “The only circle of trust I have is my bagel.”

The milk to the cereal, the chip to the cookie, the dip to the chip – completion and perfection.  What is a bagel without cream-cheese?  My sister who is a health coach @BudnBloom introduced this to our family.  Non GMO, dairy free, soy free, gluten free, guilt free, vegan, kosher, no artificial preservatives, no added sugar.  Toast your Pagel.  Add a schmear* of the cream cheese with chives, put in your earbuds and play “New York” by Cat Power and slowly step from side to side as you enjoy your breakfast.

• Achilles’s dice

“Today I will love myself enough to exercise.”

What is it with dice, desperation, and desire?  Do dice call out to some inner Vegas, Macau in the reticent part of the soul?  It never fails in my volunteer work on Zoom or teaching a virtual class after 30 minutes.  When you throw dice, something triggers the dopamine receptor in the brain that a reward is coming - 10 crunches, 1 minute duck walk, 10 jumping lunges.

 Achilles’ dice is an enjoyable way to break up and pace a virtual class of active youngsters, or self-motivate, motivate a partner to maintain or attain that shredded beach plus, Q-15 minus body.  There are beginner, intermediary, and advanced dice.  After a few rounds and a few weeks, baby needs a new pair of shoes, shirt, pants, wardrobe.

• “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know what happens.”

  Part 4 coming soon.