“You need to understand the difference between want and need. Like I want abs, but I need donuts.”

In the United States, a relatively new country on the world stage - inception date 1776 - comparatively speaking to older civilizations and nations, there is not a plethora of items culturally that Americans claim as their own. The Italians have their Pasta, Pizza, Parmesan, Pesto, Prosciutto, and Michelangelo; the French have their Mona Lisa, Baguette, Bouillabaisse, Bourguignon, Ratatouille and Croissants; the Texans have their Brisket; and the British have their tea. And history records how New Englanders felt about British tea and taxes in Boston, and Tom Brady.

America and Americans – Blue Jeans, Jazz, Hip Hop, Baseball, Beignets, Key Lime Pie, Twinkies…Donuts. Can we add donuts to the list? The evidence seems to indicate that fried dough has been consumed for millennia. Before the time of Christ, the ancient Romans and Greeks ate sweetened fried dough. In Prehistoric Native American settlements, times antedating written history, archaeologists have found traces of fried dough foods.

In the time of Moses and the Exodus from Egypt and the subsequent wilderness sojourn, the Israelites received bread from heaven, Manna. The Torah describes it as white, like coriander seed”, and having the “look” of bdellium gum, which is a substance waxlike and transparent in its appearance and boasts a form that resembles a pearl. In the Torah, Exodus chapter sixteen, verse 31, it says that the taste of Manna was comparable to “that of flat cakes with honey” or “an oiled sweet cake”.

Step 1 - Collect it.

Step 2 - Grind it into a hand mill or pound in a mortar.

Step 3 - Boil it or make it into a cake and bake it.

My Life is Good!

Wow! With this glorious description of flat cakes with honey, or an oiled sweet cake, life was good. If the raw materials for a pancake, donut, or a bagel came from heaven and miraculously sat on the ground under a layer of dew every day except for the sabbath, “life was gooooooood!” Life was real goooood! Today there is no natural substance that today fits how the Biblical record describes manna so we can only imagine and wonder.

Map of the New Netherland colonies c.1696 and 1701 CE by Justus Danckerts. Collection of the Municipal Library of Trento. | Trento Biblioteca comunale di Treno - Novi Belgii Novaqeque Angliae nec non Pennsylvaniae et partis Virginiae tabula-

In the 17th and 18th century the area comprising New York City was Dutch. The state was called New Netherland and it extended from Albany, New York, to Delaware encompassing what is now NY, NJ, CT, PA, MD, and DE. This is when Brooklyn was Breukelen, Harlem was Haarlem, and Coney Island was Conye. Occurring before people hopped in cabs and paid their fare, New York knew its destination, but was not just yet there. Dutch immigrants prepared fried dough balls called olie koeken or olykoeks, which means “oil cakes.” Although similar to the doughnut we know today, they did not have the transcendent and iconic ring shape. Apparently, these ingenious dough balls were stuffed with fruits and nuts in the middle in order to sidestep the manufacturing issue of the central part of the dough ball cooking more slowly than the rest of the doughy goodness.

A cemetery in Quincy, Massachusetts gives credit to Captain Hanson Gregory (1832-1921) as being the inventor of the donut. However, he more accurately was a visionary by putting a hole in it. It seems like everyone and no one wants to seize a piece of the donut pie and take credit for this top ten invention - you know after 1873 Jeans, 1876 Telephone, 1901 Skyscraper, 1902 Air-conditioning, 1901 Assembly Line, 1903 Airplane, 1916 Supermarket and the timeless donut.

Either way, at the end of the day it seems that presently North America claims “stewardship”, “ownership” of the donut with U.S. consumers eating more than 10 billion donuts per year. Canadians are the most monomaniacal people toward the doughnut with more doughnut shops per capita than any other country. Parallel that with their consumption of 1 billion donuts annually with a population of 30 million people, it averages out to 33.333333333333333333 donuts per person - basically 33 donuts and a Timbit. The U.S. is not so far behind with a 30 per person average but with a higher population of 330,000,000 people.

Dunkin Donuts, Kristy Kreme, Tim Hortons have been some of the staples of the North American Hemisphere but with the new wave of Artisanal Donuteers like Dough, Donut Plant and Caroline’s Donuts in Stuvyesant Heights, Brooklyn, formerly known as BedSty, “Do or Die”. This time though, eat and live. These next level Artisanal donuteers are crafting flavors that in the pronunciation of their names, defy thought, electrify blood, and stimulate ecstatic drool. For instance try saying the following words without a digestive emotional response - Mocha-Almond Crunch, Blueberry Lemon, Café Au Lait, Crème Brulee, Mango and Apricot, and of course, the traditional sugared and glazed for when your eyes glaze over like the great white shark rolling back his pupils as he opens up his gullet to guzzle down food.

The first Friday in June of each year-this year June 2, 2023 - National Donut Day was established in 1938 by the Salvation Army to recognize the organization’s Donut Lassies, women who traveled to France to serve the treats and other snacks to soldiers during World War I. It is a day of remembrance. For the world of humanity, donuts are a celebration of a true gift that makes little children squeal in delight and grown people groan in temporary pleasure with a future regret. Donuts are the subjects of some of the best Dad puns. Donut stop me now. Back in the day, you would associate donuts and cops. Iron man chilled inside the ring at Randy’s Donuts in 2010.

“Donut worry about a thing. ”

No matter how you spell it - doughnut, donut, kobliha (Czech), pfannkuchen (German), doughrings (Scotland) - National Donut Day is a day of sweetness. Get up, go out there and get your donut. They should be free today and if they are not ask with all due respect after you buy one: “May I have one as a gift from the house and on the house. Please donut say no to me.”

And really what do you have to lose?! Do or donut, there is no try.

What’s your sinful secret donut passion flavor? Comment below. You are granted immunity for 24 hours. Tomorrow give me 20 push-ups, 20 squats and a Hail yes.

“With a doughnut in each hand, anything is possible. ”

— Jameela Jamil

Donut stop believing

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