Emotional Constipation
“But feelings can’t be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.”
Photo by @ahnp
Symptoms
Photo by @kwook
Hard, compacted feelings that are difficult or painful to pass through.
Straining during conversation.
Fewer intimate conversations than usual
Pain, cramps, bloating that appears in different parts of the body.
Leaks of tears, emotions, anger, sadness, pain, almost diarrhea like feelings between regular conversations and normal everyday activities.
The inability to put to words or communicate your thought processes or experience for several days or weeks.
Feeling as though you can’t completely empty out your negative or positive thoughts and feelings
· Feeling as though there's a blockage that prevents forward movement.
· Needing help to empty out your mind and heart
Decreased appetite
Lethargy to activities that once provided joy.
If it were an emoji, it would be Meh.
Can you identify the problem? I tried to come up with a creative scientific name to put all these symptoms in a neat package - ANTI-CEREBRAL DYSCHEZIA
Cerebral: relating to the brain or the intellect
Anti: Opposite
Dyshcezia: Disordered defecation (dyschezia) refers to a problem with the bowels generating enough force to propel stool from the rectum and/or difficulty relaxing the muscle fibers around the rectum and the external anal sphincter during defecation. People with dyschezia sense the need to have a bowel movement but cannot. Even stool that is not hard may be difficult to pass.
But can one really place emotion as the opposite of intellect? If you can come up with a creative name let me know. For now, we will be stuck with EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATION.
Emotional constipation hasn’t made it yet to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, but the two word combination and the subsequent imagery definitely paint an unforgettable picture.
BLOCKAGE STRESS FOGGY DRY PAIN ACHE
OBSTRUCTION COSTIVE, IMPACTED, BOUND
The writer Swarnakshi Sharma gives an unobstructed definition of Emotional Constipation: “Emotional constipation is the unwillingness and inability to process, embrace, and express your real and raw feelings or emotions. When you’re emotionally constipated, you may give off a cold and indifferent vibe or energy. Repressed or unprocessed emotions if left unaddressed can fester and turn into emotional, mental, and physical wounds.”
Other sources in the field of dynamic psychology use this “moniker” to refer to a buildup, or backup of unprocessed emotions needing an outlet. While a person holds back from expressing emotions, they look outwardly to ease the pressure of holding everything in with something that brings comfort. Suppression brings congestion and circumvention. At the end of day any type of constipation doesn’t do the human good.
My first bout with E.C. was when I was teenager beginning high school. Between bullying, puberty, repeater pimples, thick glasses, fashion behind instead of fashion forward high waters, high school drama, where to fit in, caught between two cultures, changing society values, challenges to upbringing I got a little stuck…emotionally. It came to a complete full stop at the end of the dining room table after a game of nerf basketball and just hanging out with my friend and mentor. I had nothing to say. He said, “What’s up Bro?” checking in to see how I was doing. I had nothing. No words, no feelings, no statement. Blank. I tried to speak up and out about what was swirling around in my universe but there were meteor showers, earthquakes and tsunamis. How do you paint pictures and write stories in a hurricane?
How can I paint in a storm? Photo by NASA
He looked at my struggle and said simply: “When you talk about the monster you bring it down to size.”
A painting by Michael Hogan in the children’s book: “Talk About The Monster”
That simple statement brought me so much clarity. I remember when I flash back to that time that as I mouthed the words: “Talk About The Monster” I thought that would be a great children’s book and an awesome song. “Talk About The Monster” is a story to help children and children at heart to start or continue the healthy habit of describing and speaking about any and everything, specific and random, essentials or non-essentials, that they see, hear, feel, touch, understand, don’t understand.
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
This quote in no way minimizes the hard sweat, tears, and work to prepare and build up the next generation of the human family, our children, however it’s much better to start with a fresh canvas then to repair a damaged one. For our children to communicate we need to be present, active and listen thereby forge a free flow of communication.
The Month of October is set aside as a month to bring awareness to Bullying. It is a time to acknowledge the devastating effects this horrific practice and the subsequent disastrous effects it has on the mental, emotional and physical constitution of children and families. It is a time to recognize it in all its forms and educate our children, families and society on how it works, how to deal with it, and how to heal from it.
“Speak and start a movement.”
For Teachers and Parents. A little tool for children and adults to name the big emotions.
ACTIONABLE STEP! After reading this blog what will be your actionable step? Comment below and do it.
PHOTO BY Raphael Renter
Mistofer Christopher is a Blogger, Home School Teacher, and the author of the Children’s Book, App, and Sing-A-Long Song Talk About The Monster.
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