The Revolt of the Foolish Molar*
Lac-to-ba-ci-li-ac-i-do-phi-li
Beware of us! Beware!
We like to eat, the sugar on your teeth
When you don’t brush them
You give us quite a treat.
Song of the Lacti Bugs
We were backstage. I tried not to make any sudden, shivering movements because my brown bacteria costume, complete with bacteria tail, was slightly flimsy. I had to make deliberate movements so that it would not rip. My Bacterial, yellow, curled pipe cleaners on top of my head were crisp and immobilized into a perfect boing.
We, Class Five Dash Three Two One of Public School 35, a motley crew of bicuspids, molars, incisors, snack friends such as carrots and broccoli, candy armies, Lacti bugs, Johnny and Mother were inside the Ed Sullivan Theater located on the corner of Broadway and 53rd street in New York City. Between the black curtains my crew of four looked out waiting for our cue. The Foolish Molar would say: “Oh you are all so delicious!” Ms. Batista, our music teacher, would then strike the minor chord.
It was super cool to be on the Letterman Show, but it was ridiculously cold. I was managing a few low-grade butterflies and low temperatures accelerate the growth of Kaiju.** Silk worms become moths, caterpillars become butterflies, butterflies become Mothra.
We, Stephen, Equintal, and I think his name was Aaron, and I were 11 years old and we were Lactobacilli Acidophili. We reside in the pits and fissures of the chewing surfaces of teeth. We appear during the first years of a child’s life and are present in high numbers in saliva, on the dorsum of the tongue, mucous membranes, the hard palate and in dental plaque.*** Beware of us! Beware!
I was a pathogen, the result of bad-kid decision-making, the end game of sweet gorgeous candy and toothbrush forget failure. Beware of us! Beware!
The candy people, Rosalyn, Vanessa, Johnny circled the Foolish Molar and exited stage left, the minor chord sounded, the Acidophili crew moved out as one, like a squadron of butterflies flying in formation. Beware of us! Beware!
See the video below of the Little Mistofer Christopher and the escapade of Class 5-321 of Public School 35 on the David Letterman Show. Start the video at time stamp 15:30.
Announcements:
February 2021 - National Children’s Dental Health month, established by the American Dental Association, is a means by which educators and health providers promote the benefits of good oral health. Click here for more resources.
https://www.ada.org/en/public-programs/national-childrens-dental-health-month
Mid Spring 2021 – The House of Mistofer Christopher will release the App “Talk About The Monster”. The exciting story will be available with interactive elements and cool special effects for your mobile devices. Click on the link below to be notified first of its release.
https://www.mistoferchristopher.com/announcing
* Book by Marie U. Copp, RDH, Music and Lyrics by Betty M. Barlow.
** Kaiju: a giant monster of a type featured in Japanese fantasy and science fiction movies and television programs.
*** See references below